


no better version i could be

by CapriciousCrab



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, First Meetings, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22657948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapriciousCrab/pseuds/CapriciousCrab
Summary: Tired of spending her nights talking to her fish and irritated by her own timidity, Phil goes out looking for something different.
Relationships: Jimmy Hill/Phil Lester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 21
Collections: Temple of Gifts





	no better version i could be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [templeofshame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/templeofshame/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Zan!! I hope you had a wonderful day!

Phil stood outside the innocuous-looking building and stared at the lettering on the door. The red brick building had darkened to a dusky maroon from the rain that drizzled down from the heavy clouds above. It was the same rain that had finally driven her from the weighty silence of her flat, desperate for something other than the sound of her own voice holding a one-sided conversation with her fish while she ate a bag of crisps out of boredom. 

It was the growing realization that she hadn't been outside in days that made Phil snap, propelling her into the shower to scrub away the growing sense of sadness and inertia she'd felt. She gave herself a critical once-over in the mirror and huffed out an irritated breath.

Same pale face. Same shoulder-length hair that made her feel like one of those sport mums yelling at their kid’s soccer practice. The same boring, timid little Phil living her boring, timid life while everyone around her seemed to move with a purpose that she was still struggling to find. 

Well, not tonight. Tonight was going to be different. _She_ was going to be different. Even if the thought made her hands shake as she applied a bit of gloss to her lips. 

*

Something new had ended up being the tiny pub that played the type of club jazz she'd heard on the evening radio program this week. She'd stood out on the pavement gathering the nerve to open the door, only edging inside once the rain started to fall harder. 

As small on the inside as it looked from outside, it was filled with color and music. Bistro-style tables were crowded in front of the small stage where the performers were playing a funky jazz-rap fusion. Phil could feel the beat of the bass resonate in her chest and she found herself relaxing into it as she slid into the nearest empty chair.

She watched the shifting light wash over the faces of the musicians and wished suddenly for her camera, desperate to capture the way the instrument gleamed under the light and the intense concentration and pleasure on the bassist's face. 

Lost in the music and thoughts of lighting and angles and composition, she didn't notice the woman standing beside the table until she felt fingers tapping lightly on her shoulder. Phil looked up and promptly swallowed her tongue.

She was gorgeous. Dressed in a black and white snakeskin button up worn over black jeans, she had one of those trendy hairstyles that Phil secretly yearned for but could never pull off- the sides and back clipped short while a froth of dark brown curls fell artfully across her forehead. A trio of delicate gold hoops worn in one ear matched the one in her nose, and her neatly trimmed nails were painted a matte black that echoed the delicately drawn flick of her eyeliner. 

She was beautiful in that effortless way that some people had, and Phil swallowed nervously when she leaned in closer to be heard over the music.

"Hey there, you look a little lonely. Can I join you and buy you a drink?" 

Phil almost turned to look behind her, wondering if there's been some kind of mistake but the woman smiled at her, her cheeks dimpling and eyes sparkling so Phil nodded her head slowly and watched the woman slide into the seat next to her.

"Oh. Uh, sure. Thanks." Nice one, Phil, she thought despairingly.

There was something vaguely familiar about the woman's face, something about the voice speaking to her from across the table that made Phil search her mind palace to try and remember if they had met before as she watched her wave over the server to order Phil a drink.

“I’m Jamie," she said before taking a sip of her drink. She leaned back and kicked out her legs, crossing them at the ankles as she rested her arm across the back of her chair. She looked relaxed and carefree, and Phil envied her poise.

"Philippa, but most everyone calls me Phil. Or sometimes Pip," she said with a shy smile. 

Jamie smiled. "Oh my god, that has to be the most adorable nickname ever!"

Phil could feel her cheeks getting pink and cursed her fair complexion. Thankfully the lighting in the pub was dim enough to mask her blush.

"My older brother couldn't pronounce my name when I was born, so he called me Pip and it just kinda stuck."

"Aww, that's so cute," Jamie laughed. She had vivid blue eyes that seemed to sparkle with her smile, and it made a riot of butterflies take flight in Phil's stomach. "So, Phil, what brings you out on such a shitty night?"

Phil squirmed a bit in her chair, looking away from Jamie's inquisitive stare to glance out the window. The rain was still coming down, sheeting over the glass to ripple and distort the view outside. She sighed before looking back at the woman seated next to her.

"I was lonely. And feeling a bit sorry for myself," she admitted quietly before immediately wishing she could bite back the words. There was something slightly embarrassing about admitting to loneliness, almost as if it were some type of flaw that people should be ashamed to confess. Hoping to avoid making any more of a fool of herself, Phil took a sip of her drink and hummed with pleasure. “Oh, that’s good!”

Jamie looked at her over the rim of her own glass and offered Phil a reassuring smile. She didn’t press, and Phil felt her shoulders relax when Jamie smoothly moved the conversation along.

“So you like jazz then?” Jamie asked, angling her chair a bit closer so they could speak comfortably without shouting at each other. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

Phil shrugs. “I don’t really know yet. There was this song on the radio last week that I liked- it was kinda funky, with these horn riffs and trumpet solo and I dunno, it was just good." She felt kind of stupid trying to describe what she meant, but Jamie was nodding along as if she understood. "So I thought I'd come out and just… experience it in person I guess."

"How adventurous," Jamie teased, grinning at Phil playfully. "What if you had come all this way and hated it?"

"Better than sitting alone in my flat talking to my fish," Phil muttered into her drink. "And I'm not really adventurous. I'm just… "

"Lonely?" Jamie asked softly. 

Phil lifted her eyes to meet the sympathetic blue eyes staring back at her and found herself nodding her head.

They were silent for a beat or two then Jamie leaned in. She smelled good, like expensive cologne and lip balm and it made Phil's stomach tighten pleasantly. She was even more attractive up close and her mouth went a little dry when Jamie whispered in her ear. 

"Shall we go and have an adventure?"

*

They ended up at Flight Club where they ordered another drink and shared a pizza while waiting for their turn at darts.

"Meat or veg?" Phil wondered as she looked over the pizza list. She'd already decided to be magnanimous and let Jamie choose and couldn't contain her wiggle of delight when Jamie scoffed at the meatless offerings.

"Mate, is it really pizza if it doesn't have meat?"

Phil grinned. "You're a woman after my own heart. We're like… pizza soulmates or something."

Jamie laughed and shook her head. "You're a strange one, Phil. But I like you anyway."

They devoured their pizza and played darts and talked about everything and anything. Phil talked about her work as a video editor and her fish and how he was the smartest, prettiest fish that ever existed, and Jamie nodded along as if in complete agreement.

Jamie talked about her work on the radio and Phil nearly fell out of her chair. 

"Oh my god, you're Jamie Hill. From the actual radio. And I've just rambled on about how I talk to my fish while you talk to actual celebrities," she groaned.

Jaime snorted. "It's not always as great as it sounds. I once interviewed Taylor Swift and gave her a caterpillar cake! Do you know how stupid I felt, presenting her with that? There she was, perfectly charming and gorgeous and intelligent, and I handed her this- this abomination! Oi, stop laughing at me, Phil!"

Phil couldn't help the giggles that spilled from her mouth, tipsy from alcohol and giddy with the delight of an evening spent with someone new and exciting and fun. She didn't feel dull or boring tonight, so when Jamie tugged her out the door Phil kept hold of her hand, her heart thumping when Jamie's eyes met hers.

"Now what should we do?" Phil asked breathlessly. She didn't want the night to end but didn't know if she had the courage to do what she yearned to do.

Jamie's hand came up to brush the hair away from Phil's face. Her blue eyes were darker now, still full of humor but also something hotter, something that made an answering heat swirl in Phil's stomach.

"I think it's time for you to decide. After all, it's your adventure, innit?"

"I think it's our adventure," Phil whispered before taking a step closer. She pressed her lips to Jamie's and sighed into the kiss, relaxing when her arms came around Phil's waist to pull her close.

It was a gentle exploration, all soft lips and sweet tongue, and when Phil took a step back she knew how she wanted the night to end.

"Want to come back to mine?" she asked quietly, taking Jamie's hand into hers once more. "You can meet my fish."

Jamie laughed softly and squeezed her hand. "I'd love to meet your fish, Phil."

"Call me Pip," Phil smiled and tugged her closer for another kiss before they made their way down the street to Phil's flat and toward a different sort of adventure. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
